


Prince Achmed scene

by TenthSyllable



Category: Starkid, Team Starkid - Fandom, Twisted: The Untold Story of a Royal Vizier
Genre: Gen, Musical, Starkid Musical, Twisted, scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-18
Updated: 2016-08-18
Packaged: 2018-08-09 12:02:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7801144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TenthSyllable/pseuds/TenthSyllable
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a scene from the Starkid musical: Twisted: The Untold Story of the Royal Vizier.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Prince Achmed scene

[Ja’far enters stage]

 

Ja’far: Right. It’s imperative that this prince’s visit is a happy one! 

And who knows? Maybe he and the princess will hit it off?

 

Achmed: Good luck marrying her off!

 

Ja’far: [Goes to the ground and bows] Prince Achmed! Your excellency!

 

Achmed: Is this how your kingdom treats his guests Ja’far? Take a look at this!

[Achmed lifts up cape exposing his ass cheeks]

Achmed: Tell me, What do you see?

 

Ja’far: Your heart boxer shorts, my liege!

 

Achmed: What else?

 

Ja’far: Your ass cheeks, my lord

 

Achmed: My ass cheeks. They are hanging out. And what’s this?

[touches his butt with two fingers]

Achmed: Blood. Blood on my ass Cheeks! Tell me Ja’far, How the fuck did it get there?

 

Ja’far: [stutters] well, is it becau-

 

Achmed: It is because your princess just sicced a Bengal Tiger upon my ass! I am so lucky that it is so pert and small.

 

Ja’far: [stands] Well I am thankful for your small ass, my lord!

 

Achmed: I cannot believe she thought she could feed a prince to a Bengal Tiger and that there would be no political consequences.

This really is an act of war, Ja’far! And she treated it as if it were a throwaway joke! 

As if I were some silly side character here only to illustrate her reluctance to get married!

 

Ja’far: No, no!

 

Achmed: Well, not only am I the ruler of a sovereign nation, but I have feelings too. And people who care about me.

 

Ja’far: You must forgive our princess, she is youthful but well meaning.

 

Achmed: Ha! Do not feed me a shit and call it Couscous, Ja’far! 

This is yet another insult that your kingdom has heaped upon mine! But you can no longer afford such hubris. 

Consider your kingdom’s greatest exports over the last ten years:

toys, exotic fish, trash compacting robots, and other such “Incredibles”. 

All produced, not by your kingdom, but by mine!

 

Ja’far: Yes! You produce the goods and we distribute them!

 

Achmed: You take the credit for them!

 

Ja’far: We share the credit!

 

Achmed: Well perhaps we don’t want to share the credit any longer! 

I had considered extending our alliance,  but now-- because of your Princess-- that is completely out of the question. 

The next time that I return to this so called “Magic Kingdom”. 

It will not be with a lanyard or a two day park hopping pass, but with an army! Ja’far,, Prepare for war.

Ja’far: No Achmed wait-

 

Achmed: NO! Nobody makes an ass of Prince Achmed!

 

[Achmed exits exposing his ass cheeks]

 

Ja’far: Damn that girl! Oh Princess! You’ve got some ‘splaining to do!

  
[END OF SCENE]


End file.
